Covid hits home… 4 lessons from a life well lived.
“When Hershel Shanks moved his family to Israel in 1972, he thought he would finally be able to write his novel. He was on sabbatical from his legal practice after a year in which he had argued a U.S. Supreme Court case and succeeded in uniting the justices, who ruled unanimously against him.
“Mr. Shanks wrote 300 pages of his book, about the life of King Saul, the biblical ruler of Israel, before deeming the manuscript “abominable.” So he switched to another project on his sabbatical to-do list. Fascinated by biblical archaeology, he had begun taking his wife and daughters to dig sites on weekends, showing them how to identify ceramic fragments known as sherds.”
These are the first few sentences of my father’s obituary in The Washington Post. He died on February 5, 2021 of Covid; weeks shy of his 91st birthday and 55th wedding anniversary to my mom.
During that sabbatical in 1972, he knocked on doors, called famous archaeologist, showed up unannounced at digs, and despite having no formal training, he nudged his way into the cliquish and academic field. In 1975, he launched a magazine that is now the most successful magazine worldwide on Biblical Archaeology.
Encapsulated in the first few sentences of his obituary are some of the many lessons I learned from my favorite business coach:
- Don’t take life too seriously. Your business/career “failures” are not personal.
- Follow your passions.
- Have self-awareness of when things aren’t working; and pivot as needed.
- Have a list of things you want to do.
Don’t take life too seriously
In my dad’s autobiography, he mused that during his law career, when he argued cases in front of the Supreme Court, he successfully united a divided court – they unanimously ruled against him 9-0.
This was one of many “failures” in his career. He never shied away from them, and in fact, he liked to have fun with them. Back in 1995 (well into his magazine publishing career), my dad published a book called “Cancel My Subscription.” It was a collection of letters to the editor from people who for one reason or another were canceling or threatening to cancel their subscriptions to his magazine.
Lesson: There will always be setbacks; and many times, people won’t agree with you. It’s okay. If you live by your values, it’s not personal.
Follow your passions
My father had a passion for the biblical archaeology. Through his magazine, he created a way to stay connected to Israel and visit as an “insider,” not as a tourist. For many years, the magazine barely supported itself. He continued to work in his law practice for at least 12 years after starting the magazine. He worked on the magazine in the mornings, and then headed downtown in the afternoons. Eventually, he retired from the law so he could devote himself full-time to the magazine. He was so engaged with his work, that he didn’t fully retire until 87.
Lesson: Follow your passions; you may not be able to support yourself doing it, but you can still have fun doing what you love in your spare time.
If it’s not working, move on
This may seem counterintuitive to “following your passions.” We’re conditioned to believe that if we’re passionate enough, if we persist long enough, it will work out. But that’s not always the case. My dad gave up on his novel, even though it was the prime focus of his sabbatical.
I worked as a private chef and caterer for 12 years. While I loved my work, my business was not as robust as I wanted it to be. I decided that if I wanted to earn more money, I would need to do things differently. And I pivoted to the business side of food.
Lesson: Take a step back and be honest with yourself. Evaluate what’s not working and pivot as needed.
Have a back-up plan
When my dad went to Israel, he had a plan to write a novel. That didn’t work out, so he went to the next thing on his list. He always managed to keep himself busy.
For the entrepreneur, my dad’s list of things to do could be interpreted as having a plan b, c, d and e. If your marketing strategy isn’t working as well as you’d hope, what can you try next?
Lesson: Always be thinking about your back-up plan. Things rarely go as anticipated, so consider your next steps.
The last few weeks have been difficult. My parents contracted Covid at the same time, so I had to manage health care needs for both of them simultaneously. Thankfully, my mom has recovered from this devastating disease.
When my father passed away, I took a few days to mourn and assist with his affairs but felt obliged to get back to my clients’ needs as soon as I could. I was in the middle of many projects that I wanted to wrap up appropriately (one of my values is to not leave people hanging).
After I finish these business obligations, I ‘m going to take time to grieve and take care of family matters. Therefore, I’ll be “on sabbatical” during April and May. During my sabbatical, I’ll continue to host office hours several times a month to support all-access members of The Farmer’s Office, as well as past participants in my workshops. If you need to reach me for anything else, go ahead and email me. But I’ll be reading and responding to messages only a few times a week.
I’m grateful to have this time to reflect and transition to life without my dad.
I’ll be back in touch in June.
